Originally Posted on Sun, Jun 15 2008 @ 10:49 AM [EST]
I've always thought the name of "Father's Day" was incorrect. It really should be "Dad's Day" because anyone can 'father' a child but it really does take a special person to be a 'dad'. To be a father all you have to do is provide some sperm. The title of 'dad' is something you have to earn.
This is the first "Dad's Day" without my dad. (Thank you, I'm doing fine.) Pops (as EVERYONE called him) did not earn the title of 'dad' until I was about 14 or 15 years old. Growing up, he wasn't necessarily a good person to live with. He could be abusive at times and his discipline was extreme to say the least. I was actually the lucky one of us three boys. My two older brothers had it ALOT worse than I did. As a matter of fact, it wasn't until me and my wife were together for a few years when she was talking about her childhood, that all of a sudden, I realized that my childhood F*#kin Sucked. I had always compared my childhood to that of my brothers and compared to theirs, mine was pretty darn good. Once I compared my childhood to that of my wife's, I realized what my childhood was like. My wife's childhood wasn't anything spectacular. It was a pretty normal childhood (what ever 'normal' is in this world of the abnormal).
I could go into why I think my childhood "F*#kin Sucked" but there is no need to do so. It may not have been a good childhood but it truly did help make me the man and dad I am today. Most men become the person they are by learning what to do from their dads but at least one of my brothers and I learned what not to do from our dad. (I say 'at least one of my brothers' because my oldest brother didn't 'fall far from the tree' as far as being a father.)
I've got a couple of great kids and I believe I'm a pretty good dad. I believe the reason I'm a good dad is because I looked at all the things I believed Pops did wrong and do my best not to make the same mistakes. Now, before you start thinking I'm one of these "time out" parents, I am not. I do believe in the saying "spare the rod, spoil the child" but it is just I don't actually use a rod. I do discipline my kids. I do use 'time outs' but I also have lit my kids up on occasions as well. (Before you go calling children's services on me, don't waste your time. Spanking a kid and beating a kid are two different things.)
People want to wonder why we have the problems today such as school shootings, etc. I do believe the problem is that we have way too many parents that are either one extreme or the other. Either they discipline their kids by beating them (spanking a kid is not beating a kid) or they are the extreme 'time out' parents. Heck, some parents don't even do 'time outs'. I won't even get into the prayer and religion (or the lack there of). Some parents are more worried about being 'friends'. My kids may not always like what I say but I believe they not only respect me, but they love me as well.
I truly loved Pops and as he got older he became one of the best people anyone could have hoped to have known. And most people did like him when I was growing up but they didn't see how he treated us boys.
Just so you know, Pops and I talked about all of these things before he died. We did not wait until his last days to discuss this. We discussed it several times over the years. Too many people end up regretting what they never got to say while their parents were alive. (Check out Mike and the Mechanics -- "The Living Years")
OK...I've rambled on long enough...Heck, I'm not even sure if all of this even makes any sense but hopefully it does.
I want to wish all of the dads out there a Happy Dad's Day. And to all the "fathers" out there, it is time to step up and earn the title of dad. -TTB
PS - I also hate the term "Deadbeat Dad" because a deadbeat dad isn't a "dad" at all. It should be "Deadbeat Father".
I agree with you on the discipline of todays kids. The time outs might have it's benefits but a good old fashioned butt whooping will get any child's attention and will have them think twice about doing something wrong. I think it is Washington that has tried or has passed a bill making it illegal to spank a kid. Like you said,there is spanking and there is abuse. I have been the recipient of many a butt warming along with many other things as a kid. I want to a catholic grade school where the nuns made use of yard sticks and wooden pointers to get kids attention. Now a teacher dare not even look at a kid the wrong way!! It's a real shame that kids can get away with so much now.
Comment By: Roadhzrd on Sun, Jun 15 2008 @ 9:19 PM [EST]
I spank my kids on occasion but I do not give them the belt like my dad did me..My dad was Zorro with a belt..I felt it gave me a mean streak..So I don't do it..VM-out!
Comment By: VM on Mon, Jun 16 2008 @ 3:46 AM [EST]
By the way TT, I know what it's like with no dad around for fathers day. This was also my first without my dad being around.
Comment By: Roadhzrd on Mon, Jun 16 2008 @ 8:22 AM [EST]
You might get a phone call from me later this morning. I'm in Cincy once again and will be heading to columbus to pick up my next load with a stop at the Flying J in Jeffersonville for fuel. If I'm out of here early enough I'll be giving you a call with an eta.
Comment By: Roadhzrd on Mon, Jun 16 2008 @ 8:35 AM [EST]